Okay, men, you can scroll on past this one, or you can share it with a lady in your life.
Ladies, this message is for you.
Especially if you work outside of your home.
And even more so if you are a mother or have people that you take care of.
Whatever you situation, if you are the person who is trying to “do it all,” I have a message for you.
If you are frazzled and/or stressed because you have so much to do, but you cannot get it all done, I’m thinking of you right now.
I know because I have been there–some days I am still there.
I am pregnant with my fourth child in less than 6 years (I know, right?!), and I have a teenage stepson who lives with us (and 2 older stepchildren as well)…yeah, you added right…7 kids…ages in the womb to 25! 🙂
I am also a full-time faculty member at a university. Specifically, I work with doctoral students who are trying to finish writing their dissertation and graduate–I also teach them advanced statistics.
And my job is an hour away…each-way.
I really try to be all things to all people, until I finally really took the advice my mother gave me years ago…
“Focus on the things only YOU can do.”
So what does that mean? I’m the only one who can be a wife to my husband, a mother to my children. I’m the only one who is teaching my students for that semester or teaching a Sunday School class that term.
Whenever I am the MAIN part of the equation, that is where my priorities are, especially to my family.
But as you know, there are lots of other things I “need” to do…housework, laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning, errands…just LIFE! There’s a lot to do, and I still do most of it.
But. I have enlisted help.
Ladies, you need help.
Ladies, get help.
It’s not a luxury. It’s not an “I wish I could afford it” issue. This is costing you one way or the other. If you feel like you are not 100% present with your family or you feel especially irritated about all the things you have to do, you are serving no one by continuing to keep all of that on yourself alone.
So there are lots of ways to do this. If you have a supportive spouse who wants to help, super. If not, I have more ideas.
I started with asking more of my already in-place help. My amazing sitter who comes to my home every week now does my kids’ laundry, straightens the common areas in the home, and cleans the kitchen. SO when I come home, my house is clean, straightened and in order. I cannot tell you how much peace this brings me! So if you have a sitter who is just texting on her phone the whole time, you need to either ask her to do more or find a new sitter.
I also have someone clean my home. Again, this isn’t a luxury. I was going CRAZY with guilt about how filthy my home was. You have to decide what’s most important to you and what’s the domino effect that makes other things better…when my home is clean, I feel at peace–my job demands enough. I need to come home to some order.
My kids are 5, 3, 1, and I’m 4 months pregnant now. There is only so much PHYSICALLY I can do. I do try to take care of myself. I do exercise daily. I do drink Shakeology daily. I do try to eat cleanly. But some days…I just can’t do any more. I’m spent.
I know it’s an investment. I’m not ignoring the fact that money is not always in abundance for most of us (did you see how many children I have…and someone always needs something!). Quite honestly, that is why I have built my online coaching business–to have additional income for some of these “extras.”
So however it looks for you, wherever you need to start, today be mindful of the things only YOU can do. Only you can be fully present with your children–they grow up so quickly…enjoy all the moments. Only you can be that friend when someone is in need–be present to the people who matter to you.
Now if you have figured out how to do it all, and your life is grand? Super. This message is not for you (you can keep scrolling too 🙂 ). But if you are struggling to figure it all out, start with having someone just help with one thing–kids’ laundry, for example. Let me tell you, these three little people can go through a lot of clothes–DAILY! That alone has been a life-saver!
I’m still in it with you–I don’t have it all figured out. But I do know that now that I focus on the things only I can do, my life is a little bit less hectic.
Please let me know if you decide to enlist help and how that works for you. I would love to hear your updates!
Until next time,
Stephanie
P.S. Ladies, you are welcome to join my free, online community of women who are striving to live their healthiest life. Click HERE to join our Facebook group.
Leave A Comment