To the Bonus Mom

To all the bonus moms out there…

I honor you.

Your job is not easy. You have married a man with children, and you are balancing the role of wife and now mother.

I know. I’m right in the mix with you. When I married Tony almost 10 years, I became the bonus mom to his three children who were 15, 12, and 6 at the time. I must admit. It wasn’t the situation I had envisioned, but I must say, even with the rough days–some very rough days–my life has been richly blessed.

I realize that every situation is different and some of you may be living in a very tense situation, but know that you are so very important. We are approaching Mother’s Day and your honor might take a back seat, but know that every seed you plant in your bonus children will grow.

So keep planting.

Even if the love is not reciprocated in the same way, keep planting.

I truly believe that my role as a bonus mom has been part of my calling.

I believe that God knew all along that we were all going to be a family.

So honestly, I had to change my mindset…it’s not about me. At all. Yes, I have feelings, yes, I want to be liked, yes, I want to be loved, but I realized early on that it’s just not about me.

It’s about being willing to be the vessel God had called me to be in their lives.

And it’s still a process.  I have in no way figured everything out. But I just wanted to encourage you that YOU matter. You may never know the impact that you are having, but trust me, you are making an impact.

You have the opportunity to give them additional love and kindness.

That is why I prefer the word “bonus” not “step”…everything you give them is a bonus in their lives.

Now Tony and I have three children together with the fourth on the way. Yet if you were to ask me how many children I have, I would say we have 6, almost 7.

They are all a part of our family. Equally.

So hang in there, mommas. I see you. I’ve been there. I’m still there.

And you know what?

You rock.

If you are new to this game, I wrote a few tips that might help with you the transition. Or if you are a seasoned veteran, I would love to hear from you–we can all learn from each other!

So Happy Mother’s Day to ALL of the mothers, bonus moms included!  I’m proud to be among the ranks with you!